A man I know recalled that as a small boy he passed his father’s bedroom door early one morning and saw his father, still in his pyjamas, kneeling beside his bed, praying. This image had a tremendous effect on him. For the first time in his life he realised that prayer was something men could participate in, whereas previously he had seen prayer as a feminine domain—that is, something only his mother did. His father was a private man, but seeing him praying showed the son that his father had a relationship with God. And, as a male like him, he too could relate to God in prayer.
This is a familiar story. While there is little hard empirical evidence to support the hypothesis that fathers play a crucial role in transmitting faith to their sons, similar recollections of many men imply that the example of a father’s spirituality is crucial to his son’s belief in God. The Between Fathers and Sons program is based on the anecdotal evidence of a number of men that their fathers played a crucial role in transmitting faith to them, and in nurturing their spiritual development.
Faith is about relationships; specifically, the relationships of people with God and of people with other people. It is in relationships that faith is shared—through observing the attitudes, outlooks and actions of significant people toward one another, and, by inference, toward God. For example, the son observes the relationship of his father toward others (the horizontal dimension of faith) and makes assumptions about his father’s relationship to God (the vertical dimension of faith).
This program allows for adolescents to meet with, listen to and talk to their fathers and other fathers from the Christian community who have sought, in various ways, to embody lives of faith and service. When fathers share with sons their struggles, and their experiences of God in the midst of those struggles, they in effect show their sons how to find meaning for their lives. They communicate the attitudes and orientations that have helped them to make sense of their lives and have given them direction. This is a vital task for any father who has a son approaching manhood.
Between Fathers and Sons 