Nowadays the word “relationship” is often a code word for sexual relations. When a person speaks of “having a relationship,” these words often refer to a genital encounter. An analysis of adolescent sexuality is not the aim of this session. Rather, this session specifically addresses the area of friendship with women, another important aspect of relationship.

From about the age of three years old until puberty, boys and girls rarely choose to play together or form friendships with one another. Puberty not only initiates physical changes, but also alters how boys feel about girls and girls feel about boys. Many adolescent boys worry that their efforts to form friendships with girls will only end in failure, embarrassment, social disgrace or rejection. Many boys have gone years without communicating much with girls. In early adolescence, boys and girls need to be reacquainted with basic relational skills as they seek to establish new friendships with one another. Fortunately, the task is not as difficult as one might imagine. Adolescents usually have a great deal of experience in meeting people, making new friends, being friends and maintaining friendships with members of the same sex. These skills transfer well when the time comes for adolescent boys to form friendships with adolescent girls.

This session reviews the qualities and characteristics of true friendship. It offers encouragement for adolescents to review the skills they have already mastered for making same-sex friendships and use them as they form new relationships with the opposite sex. True friends respect one another; that is, they treat each other as they wish to be treated, with the dignity that any person deserves. This session explores these issues through the use of several interpersonal techniques, including a panel discussion focusing on some of the impediments to healthy male-female relationships.